yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
