Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Mom said you looked used
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
