a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
