your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
accomplished twins. life is a go
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
a search helicopter?!
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
