she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
