Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
