i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm just crazy horny about you
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Randomize
