i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
