i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
