I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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