you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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