from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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