i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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