u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize