i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
