Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
