Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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