Joe is yelling at the trees again.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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