And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
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My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
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I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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