well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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