is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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