JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We are two peas in an std pod
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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