You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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