hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
