So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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