out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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