I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
