maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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