ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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