Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
