This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
