my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
