i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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