I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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