What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Drunk is a universal language darling
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