Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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