Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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