Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
there is glitter all over my balls
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