The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
