Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
