Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
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I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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