Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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