I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
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He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
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I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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