It's like God shit irony all over that family
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
