So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
