didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
