5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
