i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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