Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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