So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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