It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
