Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We need a shit load of segways right now
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize