is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
