do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
