it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
