i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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