from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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