did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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