people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
