Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
