it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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