talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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