You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
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Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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