im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
