College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
